I know some of you might be familiar with Jeff Foxworthy’s You Might Be A Redneck… If you’re from Vermont, not only do you know what I’m talking about, but you can probably also relate. Myself included. I had the daily quotation calendar thank you very much. A few weekends ago some volunteers and I watched the Blue Collar Comedy Tour and being in that mindset, we decided to do “You might be a PC Cameroon volunteer….”
Three quick things, this blog is co-authored by my very funny postmate ann-marie. Also the other day I was googling, and stumbled upon a You Might Be A PCV South Africa if… paying 15 dollars for Indian delivery food is too much. That’s when I stopped reading and decided that they were probably living in Jersey. Finally, I know there’s a few volunteers out there that read this blog, please feel free to add…
You might be a Cameroonian Peace Corps Volunteer if…..
· you don’t do a double take when the 10 year old selling rat poising is actually carrying around a dead rat as proof.
· you call a 12oz beer a baby beer and a 22oz is normal.
· spending 2500cfa (about $5) on a meal is considered splurging, and probably the most expensive food you can find in town.
· you’ve ever actually paid to pee in a hole in the ground
· you put on a sweatshirt at 70 degrees
· the “white man’s” grocery store is your tourist attraction.
· you opt out of using a fork because the food tastes better using your hands.
· you actually get annoyed and offended when someone tells you you’re beautiful.
· you have to ask the hostess/mommie cooking what kind of bush meat she is serving because you don’t want to eat monkey
· you’ve every found yourself arguing over 20 cents
· the word “deranger” is considered a word in the English language
· you are no longer embarrassed by having diarrhea, talking about diarrhea or discussing another person’s diarrhea.
· you dream about eating cheese.
· the idea of personal space no longer exists
· your alarm clock is roosters and the snooze button is pigs
· you think of boiled eggs as bar food
· you regularly eat beans for breakfast, lunch and dinner
· you’ve ever seen a woman breastfeeding in the market while the baby is propped up next to a dead monkey, and the mother is vehemently arguing the price of fish
· you see other white people and can’t help but stare
· you no longer know what clean white feet look life
·the best insult you can throw at someone is to call them “villageois” (villager)
· your favorite season of the year is mango season
· Having cleavage includes knee caps
· You have mosquito bites in places the don’t see the light of day
· Its not a meal if piment(a really spicy pepper), Maggie (MSG in cube form) or palm oil is not present
· you don’t do anything or go anywhere when it rains, just like everyone else
· you have used your medical kit for things not medically related i.e. bandage tape to hang pictures
· you’ve seen every movie you own at least a dozen times, and the deleted scenes making of the movie, and with commentary
· you wash the chalk like pepto bismuth down with beer or whiskey.
· your perfume is either Coopertone or Off Deep Woods and your wine glasses are made by Rubbermaid