Friday, January 30, 2009

You might be a Cameroonian Peace Corps Volunteer if…..

I know some of you might be familiar with Jeff Foxworthy’s You Might Be A Redneck… If you’re from Vermont, not only do you know what I’m talking about, but you can probably also relate. Myself included. I had the daily quotation calendar thank you very much. A few weekends ago some volunteers and I watched the Blue Collar Comedy Tour and being in that mindset, we decided to do “You might be a PC Cameroon volunteer….”

Three quick things, this blog is co-authored by my very funny postmate ann-marie. Also the other day I was googling, and stumbled upon a You Might Be A PCV South Africa if… paying 15 dollars for Indian delivery food is too much. That’s when I stopped reading and decided that they were probably living in Jersey. Finally, I know there’s a few volunteers out there that read this blog, please feel free to add…

You might be a Cameroonian Peace Corps Volunteer if…..

· you don’t do a double take when the 10 year old selling rat poising is actually carrying around a dead rat as proof.

· you call a 12oz beer a baby beer and a 22oz is normal.

· spending 2500cfa (about $5) on a meal is considered splurging, and probably the most expensive food you can find in town.

· you’ve ever actually paid to pee in a hole in the ground

· you put on a sweatshirt at 70 degrees

· the “white man’s” grocery store is your tourist attraction.

· you opt out of using a fork because the food tastes better using your hands.

· you actually get annoyed and offended when someone tells you you’re beautiful.

· you have to ask the hostess/mommie cooking what kind of bush meat she is serving because you don’t want to eat monkey

· you’ve every found yourself arguing over 20 cents

· the word “deranger” is considered a word in the English language

· you are no longer embarrassed by having diarrhea, talking about diarrhea or discussing another person’s diarrhea.

· you dream about eating cheese.

· the idea of personal space no longer exists

· your alarm clock is roosters and the snooze button is pigs

· you think of boiled eggs as bar food

· you regularly eat beans for breakfast, lunch and dinner

· you’ve ever seen a woman breastfeeding in the market while the baby is propped up next to a dead monkey, and the mother is vehemently arguing the price of fish

· you see other white people and can’t help but stare

· you no longer know what clean white feet look life

·the best insult you can throw at someone is to call them “villageois” (villager)

· your favorite season of the year is mango season

· Having cleavage includes knee caps

· You have mosquito bites in places the don’t see the light of day

· Its not a meal if piment(a really spicy pepper), Maggie (MSG in cube form) or palm oil is not present

· you don’t do anything or go anywhere when it rains, just like everyone else

· you have used your medical kit for things not medically related i.e. bandage tape to hang pictures

· you’ve seen every movie you own at least a dozen times, and the deleted scenes making of the movie, and with commentary

· you wash the chalk like pepto bismuth down with beer or whiskey.

· your perfume is either Coopertone or Off Deep Woods and your wine glasses are made by Rubbermaid

4 comments:

Luann said...

That's funny, I don't care who you are that's funny!

Be well
Ciao!

Steve Jackson said...

Loved it - just linked it from my blog.

Gloria Twesigye said...

Elyse and I just read it and find it very, very accurate. Being in the Grand North, I don't get any opportunity to eat fancy bush meats, but when I visit the East, I would like to try some. And going to the Extreme North, I really want to try camel.

There are so many favorites to choose from, but the one that created the most vivid picture is the one about the rat poison, only because my favorite thing is to see the rats hanging off the tray like tassles. Thanks for the laughs.

Kate Fleurange said...

This is awesome Siobhan--you're hilarious! Sounds like little rat poison boy has some serious marketing skills.

How about you've been humbled/made to limp by the embarrassing ailment of... a dry cracked heel. Yuck! (Yay Extreme North desert!)